27th Sunday in Ordinary Time - B 2024

People generally don’t like being told “no,” especially when the reasons behind it are unclear.  This can often lead to resentment.  A common caricature of the Catholic Church is that it excels at saying “no,” as if it’s all about controlling its members with seemingly arbitrary rules and restrictions.  This is an especially common perception regarding the Church’s teachings on marriage: “You can’t do this, you’re not allowed to do that. You can’t marry this person. You must marry this way, not that way.”

While it’s important to understand the “no’s” of Church teaching, we must recognize that behind every “no” is a deeper “yes,” a “yes” to a truth that the Church seeks to teach and protect.

Today, we hear our Lord saying “no” to divorce.  Although divorce was permitted in the Old Testament, Jesus reveals that it wasn’t part of God’s original plan for marriage.  When the Pharisees ask Him about divorce, He shocks them by teaching that divorce was only a concession made by Moses due to the hardness of hearts.  But in God’s design, marriage was always meant to be permanent.  Jesus offers no conditions or caveats to this teaching.

It’s easy to focus only on the prohibitions of our Lord’s words.  But rather than focusing merely on the prohibitions, let’s look at the “yes” behind this teaching.  To understand it, we need to grasp what marriage truly is: a reflection of God’s love for the Church, an icon of His love poured out on the cross.  Marriage is meant to be permanent and without reservation because that’s how God loves us—totally, unconditionally, and forever.

As St. Paul says in Ephesians, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.  This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the Church” (Ephesians 5:31-32).  Marriage is a living image of the love between Christ and His bride—the Church.

God’s love, embodied in marriage, is total.  There were no conditions or expiration dates when Christ died for us.  His love is permanent, total, and fruitful.  From His sacrifice came new life—our salvation.  In marriage, this fruitfulness is reflected in the gift of children.  Thus, marriage must be permanent, a total commitment, and open to life.  The “yes” of marriage is a “yes” to living out the love of Jesus in a unique and profound way.

And yet we also know that life is messy.  Divorce happens, even when couples intend for their marriage to last forever.  For those who have experienced the pain of divorce, I want to acknowledge your hurt.  The Church is not here to distance you from God but to draw you closer.  If you’re feeling disconnected, I encourage you to stay—pray with us, reach out to a priest.  When we have a burn or a cut we don’t want it to be touched.  We pull back from others touching it because it’s painful.  This is often the reaction of those who go through a divorce.  The initial reaction is to pull back because it hurts.  But much like a wound or burn must be touched and tended to for healing, we must press into Jesus when we are hurting.  Jesus came to press in and heal our brokenness, not to push us away.

Some who go through a divorce feel stuck and frustrated because the Church prohibits remarriage.  In the Church’s eyes, no human action, including divorce, can dissolve the bond of a valid sacramental marriage.  However, for those struggling after a divorce, the Church offers the annulment process, which is often misunderstood as simply a “Catholic divorce.”  But an annulment doesn’t end a marriage—it examines whether a valid marriage took place from the start.

For a marriage to be valid, both spouses must possess the necessary capacity, intention, and knowledge at the time of the wedding.  An annulment process investigates whether one or more of these essential elements were missing.  Let’s briefly explore each:

Capacity: At the time of the wedding, both individuals must have the mental, emotional, and psychological ability to enter into marriage.  For example, if one spouse struggled with alcohol, or if past physical or emotional abuse affected how they formed relationships, it could raise doubts about their ability to consent to marriage.  Mental illness or other serious emotional issues might also impact whether someone had the capacity to enter into a valid marriage.

Intention: Marriage requires a free and unconditional intention to commit.  Imagine someone marries because they feel pressured, perhaps due to an unplanned pregnancy or fear of social consequences.  Or maybe someone marries as a way to escape a dangerous living situation, rather than out of genuine love.  Others might enter marriage with conditions, like “I’ll stay married to you as long as you don’t do this or that.” If someone isn’t freely committing without reservations, then the necessary intention for a valid marriage may be absent.

Knowledge: Both parties must also have full knowledge of each other when they marry.  For instance, if one spouse hid a serious issue, like a drug addiction or a secret family, the other might not have been able to make an informed decision about marriage.  Without crucial knowledge, one or both spouses could be entering marriage under false pretenses.

In the annulment process, the Church investigates whether there was a lack of capacity, intention, or knowledge.  If one of these elements was missing, the Church may declare that what appeared to be a marriage was, in fact, not valid.  In such cases, the person is free to marry again.  The annulment process is not meant to be punitive, but a means of maintaining the sacredness of marriage and resolving the brokenness that arises in some marriages.  If you are in need of an annulment, do not be afraid.  Seek healing.